Grey skies are gonna clear up

Alright, so it's been a little mopey and pathetic around here, even for me (which is saying something). So I have committed myself to ensure that at least the next few posts are somwhat less dark and miserable. Stay tuned for mirth and other diversions!

Northern Sirens

Their album came out on April 28th. R&B isn't exactly anyone's first idea of Swedish music, but these guys are pretty cool.

First rule of Fight Club

Don't talk about Fight Club!

P.S. I hate that movie.

Gmail: Now with drunk filter!

Apparently drunk people sending email is a rather common occurrence now. Common enough, at any rate, for gmail to have a feature meant to help lushes avoid sender's regret. I think I know a few people who should sign up!

Unfortunately, their gain is our loss, as experiencing and cataloging the escapades of the inebriated is one of the great joys of sober visitors to drunk land.

Stuck in the Past

During one of my many sleepless nights, it occurred to me that the entire world we perceive no longer exists. Whether from sight, sound, or touch, everything that we know comes from stimuli that travels to us, is received and then processed by the brain, and finally rendered as a conclusion we call reality. But in actuality, each of these steps takes some amount of time to complete, brief though it may be, such that our world is not the present, but the infinitesimally recent past.

This leads to two interesting, though related, conclusions. First, everything around me could completely disappear, and in fact I would be unaware of it for some measurable period of time. I would be like Schrodinger's Cat, for an instant, in a world both whole and complete, yet entirely empty as well.

But secondly, and personally more interesting, is the fact that no amount of effort can ever bring me to the present. No matter what, light will still take time to reach my eyes. My brain will still require time to process the information. Thus, no technological or personal development can ever give me an actual view of the current reality. That we cannot relive the past is a social and literary truism, and yet we actually live in an expired universe. It's the here and now that's unattainable.

Of course, these observations have very little application in the real world. But anyone who didn't expect that conclusion is new to blogging.

Happy New Year

I think Chinese New Year is some time in the next week. I don't know what number the year is, but I think it's like five-thousand and something. In any case, happy new year.

It ain't over 'till it's over

Linguistic Delusions

Sometimes when I stare long enough at text in German I think I can make it out. This is pretty silly, as aside from a few terms gleamed from too many hours of the History Channel, I know next to nothing about it.

Alien lands and their strange holidays

Remember remember the 5th of November,
The Gunpowder, Treason and Plot,
I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason
should ever be forgot.

Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, 'twas his intent
to blow up the King and the Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below,
Poor old England to overthrow:
By God's providence he was catch'd
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, make the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!
Hip hip hoorah!

P.S. Blogging, the reading of blogging and the commenting on said blogging, shall resume soon. Thank you for your paitence.

Animal Cunning

Nature shows are some of my favorite television programs. Now, camping, hiking, and generally going outside hold little appeal for a lazy, allergy ridden, internet addicted man, and so I tend to spend very little time in the wilds. Even so, I personally have a vast and unbounded love of nature, but it is the kind of affection best practiced from afar. In fact, my principal participation comes in the form of animal documentaries.

While watching these programs, I am often struck by the fundamental difference found in animal thought and priorities, vis-a-vis people. To illustrate this contrast, I'll use an example I recently saw on Animal Planet.

A group of lions had managed to separate a buffalo from the herd and quickly pounced on it. After an epic struggle, the assembled lionesses managed to wrestle the beast to the ground and proceeded to administer those tender grips by which animals become food. As for the poor hamburger's friends, they stood around for a little while before eventually continuing on their way.

The thing is, if the buffalo actually help each other, then none of them would die. If the lions bring down one, the others could come charge in and save it. This has both short-term benefits, in saving the intended meal, and long-term too, by frustrating the feeding attempts of predators and driving them to starvation. Of course, many animals are incapable of this kind of planning. They simply roam around at their own leisure, their only concerns being food and personal (or, in some cases, familial) safety. Whether that is a better life than we have, or worse, I cannot say for certain. But the difference sure is amusing.

Replacement

Well, I ordered a new laptop to replace the one that was stolen. Last time I bought a Sony Vaio. It was an adequate machine, but large and clunky, and the fan developed this annoying squeaking sound somewhat reminiscent of an asthmatic rodent.

This time I went with a Dell Inspiron. I upgraded the video card, screen, and RAM. Then, when I made an innocent query regarding the student discount for SCU students, the helpful sales associate person further enhanced my prospective purchase with a DVD burner and some Bluetooth thing. I don't even really know what Bluetooth is exactly, but now I can use it.

In the end I spent a little more than I wanted to, but with my student discount I ended up getting a much better machine than would have otherwise been within my limited means.

The time value of money

Warning: This post contains examples of misused economic terms and concepts. Those sensitive to the proper construction of financial principles would be advised to skip this entry.

I recently received an email from a user regarding a comment I left on a third user's blog. The letter was somewhat irate, in which I was accused of committing certain heresies against the orthodox of money and it's relationship to happiness. Below is my original comment, reproduced in full, from Purple Haze.

I think the evidence is pretty clear. Money can't buy you happiness. And yet, it seems obviously true that the more you have, the more likely you will be happy.

Money is an enabler. The ultimate enabler, in fact, at least in a capitalist society. Money allows you to do the things you want, or avoid those you'd rather do without. It converts actual time to personal time, real time to free time.

If you can't be happy with money, that speaks volumes about who you are as a person, but it doesn't say anything bad about money.

Just so there is no misunderstanding, I do not believe that money can itself guarantee happiness. Nor do I assert that rich people are necessarily thrilled with life. You can be poor and ecstatic, you can be loaded and miserable. Money is an it, a thing, a possession. It doesn't make anyone do anything. It can't make you happy, nor can it force sadness on you.

However, it is also undeniable that money plays a big role in most of our lives, and the inability to manage it or put it into proper perspective can lead to big problems, and that was the point of my comment. As I said, money is an enabler. It allows you to do things, and the more money you have the more options are available. But it does more than that.

Money is power, and with it you can reduce opportunity costs and limit unpleasant externalities. Financial means allows you to manage your time according to your inclinations, by providing alternative solutions to annoying but necessarily problems. After all, many rich people don't clean their own homes, and they convert the time that would be spent into other pursuits. This then brings me to my comment's second conceit.

If you are rich enough to where you can choose how to spend your time and you aren't happy, that is an indication of a serious deficiency. Where the fault lies would differ with each person, of course, but it should be manifestly obvious that someone relieved of financial concerns has a significant leg up in the pursuit of happiness.

Doctor, doctor, Mr. MD, can't you see what's ailing me?

I can't believe Doctor Phil has his own television show. I can't believe companies pay money for ad space during that inane hour, and I can't believe people actually watch. Yet all those things are true, and I am left baffled. What is it exactly that people see in that bloated sack of insipid pontification? Do they like that he "confronts" people? Is it simply the "suck it up, loser" tone? Or is he, for some, a figure of genuine insight?

It is the easiest thing in the world to tell others what they should do. This is because most tough decisions are really quite easy, objectively speaking. When weighing the alternatives and the costs, recognizing the proper choice is often a small matter. If you don't have the pay consequences yourself, it is easy to tell someone else what they should do. And this speaks to the heart of the matter. It isn't figuring out which choice is the right one that's tough, it's sticking to your guns and paying the price.

That's my problem with people who, like Dr. Phil, become rich celebrities by peddling easy answers. It's a simple matter to tell someone else to suck it up and get off the couch, but actually doing it is much harder (judging by his own physique, the good doctor has some experience in this).

Somehow I doubt that

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

Is it just me, or do these quiz things rarely if ever actually describe you? Of course, it could be that they capture you perfectly, but by failing to reflect the person you'd like to think you are, they disappoint. Either way, I'm pretty sure this one missed the mark.

Springtime for Kitler and Germany

Cats that look like Hitler is a fine example of the truism that anything can be found on the internet. The example included above, Spooky (owned by Elaine), is apparently the fifth rated furher kitler (their combination of cat and Hitler, I suppose). If you are really bored, go see the other four rated ahead of him.

While I'm on the subject of Germany (kinda), what is it with those VW commercials? Deutschland, yo? That slogan has been raised twice before in the last century, neither time to particularly good result.

P.S. If anyone knows how I can get rid of that empty air between the title and the images, please let me know.

Little Miseries

What ever happened to two-litre sized bottles of Vanilla Coke? They have completely disappeared from area stores, replaced by a Cherry-Vanilla concoction of dubious gastronomical merit. Cherry fans already have Cherry Coke. Now, in order to indulge my taste for vanilla I have been reduced to adding it manually. This is an injustice of epic proportions.

Didn't quite make Craigslist

Is it just me, or is everyone on Craigslist a complete and total flake? I mean, there are some really cool ideas floating around there, and I'm sure some of the people who propose a group or an activity genuinely wants to try, but it seems like nothing ever happens. I'm lucky to even get a reply to any question I send.

Of course, I know that life conspires to rob us of what free time we can skim off the top, and that writing groups or book clubs are ultimately luxuries. Even so, you'd think by the law of averages something would come together every so often.

Another new IM system! Now if only I had some one to talk to...

Well, I never was very big on any of the old IM systems. I had ICQ a really long time ago (I've heard the early numbers are actually valuable now!), but I can't remember anything about it for the life of me. But as I'm a total google geek, I've signed on with Google Talk. It's neat. Check it out.

Shiny

Well, I indulged myself and picked up a few electronic toys. My old headphones were getting uncomfortable, so I got a new wireless pair. They have a 150' range and this neat charger stand. I also bought a 160 GB hard drive and a GeForce 6200 video card. I wanted a 6800, but I just didn't have the scratch. Before leaving I gave the mp3 players a hard look, but I can't decide on what features I want. I'll have to do some reseach, and I'm more than open to suggestions.

Unfortunately, I wasn't really able to enjoy my new purchases very much. Installation and all took a little while, the hard drive wouldn't automatically hook up, and I spent the balance of the day wrestling with my video card. Although it worked well enough on games, the thing would go into epileptic seizures if ordered to play video files. An exhaustive search of the internet was of only minor assistance, and ultimately I simply played trial and error with old nVidia drivers.

However, in the end, I managed to triumph over my own personal incompetence. A feat not entirely inconsiderable.

Using up RAM

That's right. This post serves no other purpose than to have used up an infinitesimally puny amount of your RAM and bandwidth.

Ha ha!

Jeff 1, Internet Using World 0!