Four Days in May

Just back from Kublacon, the largest gaming convention on the West Coast. Too tired to really say much. There were lots of games, plenty of attendees, and over priced hotel food to boot. All in all, a good time had by all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've been up for almost three days, and it's time for sleep.

Wrong us, shall we not revenge?

Well, just got back from seeing Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. I actually only bought tickets to the midnight show because I was already at the theatre earlier this week to try and see Kingdom of Heaven (which I never got to do because of scheduling issues). When I saw there were still tickets available for Star Wars, I just couldn't resist. I know, it's like reserving spots on a train bound to roll right off the unfinished bridge and into the ravine, but ultimately I cannot deny my inner-geek.

I shall endeavor to describe the movie in only general terms; even though we all know more or less how it ends, I don't want to give anything away. It would probably be best to start with the "pros". Not only does this seem only fair, but it also isn't going to take very long.

Pros:
Special Affects. As usual, Lucas and Industrial Light and Magic have produced a visually impressive display. I for one am disappointed by the dependence on CG, clone troopers would have been better depicted through real actors where possible, but the images they do end up using are simply incredible.

Action. There was a lot of fighting. Much of it was repetitive or pointless, but at least there was a lot of it. Quite frankly, I think lightsabers are unspeakably awesome, and so I know that, speaking for myself, I am willing to just sit there and watch the glowsticks flash across the screen. For a while, anyway.

That's pretty much it for the things Lucas got right. Now, onto the "cons".

Cons:
Dialogue: The English language, in all its infinite forms, incomparable versitility, and remarkable beauty, does not possess condemnation strong enough to denounce the incompetence displayed by the Episode III screenplay. The dialogue was pained, trite, and otherwise unable to inspire any emotion save annoyance. I've hear rumors that the script was even "ghostwritten" to try and clean it up a little. If that's true, then I dread to see what it replaced.

Acting: Terrible acting is becoming the standard in Star Wars films, and this one is no exception. Ewan McGregor does Obi-Wan justice, but in almost no other sense can even the semblance of thespisatic integrity be found.

Directing: Rarely has a movie been more clumsy and heavy handed in its presentation. Lucas relies on but a single directing technique, telling parrallel stories throughout the movie in rather the same manner as the previous prequels. What's more, the jumps from one story to another seem to have occurred largely at random, and you never get the feeling that you are being introduced to a story so much as a collection of disparate images that happen to have been cut into the same roll of film.

Cameos: The use of the Wookies was pointless in the extreme, designed solely it seemed to include a thirty second Chewbacca cameo. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm as big a Chewy fan as the next Star Wars geek, but I don't like contrivances.

Fighting: I know I said action was a pro. But by the end, one does become a little tired of pointless conflict. None of the fights manage to invoke the pathos that characterizes memorable confrontation. Even the final, "climactic" battle between Obi-Wan and Anakin is little more than another opportunity for ILM to show off.

Midichlorians: Quite frankly, I can't believe Lucas had the gall to throw that back in our faces. This is the sign of a man fatally detached from reality.

Nooooooo: You'll understand this one when you see it. While I'm on the subject, if Vader looks a little scrawnier than you remember, you aren't the only one. Obviously, Vader must spend a lot of his time in between Episodes III and IV in the gym.

The best thing that can be said of this film is that it is the finest Star Wars movie in twenty-something years. It is unquestionably the finest of the prequel films, and were it "Space Battle" or something, without the high expectations and heavy burdens of the Star Wars name, it would be merely a bad sci-fi film. But because it is Star Wars, and the last of Star Wars at that, the disappointment makes every shortcoming just that much worse. In the end, you aren't left with any feeling other than, well, the need to take revenge on someone for robbing you of a few hours, eight bucks, and years of hope.

Pointless Factiod IX

The speed of light (in a vacuum) is 186,282 miles per second.

The speed of sound is (at sea level and room temperature) 344 meters per second. Or, put another way, 768 miles per hour.

That means if one were watching TV at a distance in which it took light one second to reach you (186,282 miles for those of you with bad memories), the sound be behind by 242.5 hours. That's roughly ten days.

Sadly, the quality of most television series would not be diminished by the discrepancy.

Thou art lego, and on this brick I will build my church

The Brick Testament is an amusing way to catch up on your favorite bible verses. Illustrated to legos, the stories of murder, slaughter, and shameful discrimination really come alive!

The Light at the Roadstop in the middle of the Tunnel

Finals time, year two, Santa Clara University School of Law. No more fun than all those other finals, but at least I can start to see the end.

Expressions I don't get to use as much as I'd like

1. You're not the boss of me.
2. I told you so.
3. Apology accepted.
4. My fellow Americans...
5. I'd like to thank the academy...

Pointless Factoid IIX

A doxology is a short hymn or praise following a biblical verse. The single most familiar doxology to Americans is probably the refrain to the Lord's Prayer "For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen." It is not found in the original hebrew, but was instead developed by Greek translators.

Oh no! It's Mecha-Intelligent-Educated-Godzilla!

For those of you how are not as familiar with American cultural subcurrents as you should be, "scientific" creationism is a nasty appendege of the evangelical fundamentalism practiced across the country. It seeks to supplant the teaching of rational , tested, verified, and scientifically supported evolution in favor of a particular theological interpretation not even accepted by the majority of Christians.

Unable to make their case scientifically, it has become popular for local fundies to concentrate their efforts on electorally vulnerable school districts. One of the more recent battlegrounds has emerged in Pennsylvania, which just goes to show that simply because you live in a Blue State, that doesn't mean there aren't whackjobs next door. The Dover school board has ordered staff to teach "Intelligent Design", the "theory" that life is so organized that it could have arisen only through the actions of a creator. The complete story can be read here.

A complete refutation of this rubbish is really beyond the scope of this post, but for those of you more interested, please see Talk.Origins. They'll have all the information you could ever want on why ID and creationism is scientifically incorrect, and what's more, they'll have plenty of links to ID and creationist sites so you can compare yourself. Suffice it to say, ID has no basis in reality.

Sadly, another article on how the fundies are intent to run our ship aground would likely not have illicited a post from me. Rather, there was a particular quote I (and others) found amusing. Pastor and local school parent Ray Mummert, the face of the ID push in Dover, had this to say:

"We`ve been attacked by the intelligent, educated segment of the culture."

Oh no! Here comes Mecha-Godzilla! And it's smarter than ever!

Mikey likes it!

Top ten breakfast cereals:

1. Lucky Charms
2. Cinnamon Toast Crunch
3. Peanut Butter Captain Crunch
4. Honey Nut Bunches of Oats
5. Kix
6. Fruity Pebbles
7. Cookie Crisps
8. Honey Nut Cheerios
9. Shredded Mini-Wheats
10. Count Chochula

Somehow, part of a complete balanced breakfast.

Acta est fabula, plaudite!

John Paul II is dead. There's not really much more to say. I have little affection for Roman Catholicism or indeed Christianity in general, it must be said, yet it is unfortunate to see the pontiff go. John Paul II showed a willingness to compromise that was as extraordinary yet still somehow all the more disappointing.

He moved to heal breaches within the Christian community that had stood a thousand years or more. He reached out to the leaders of other religions and spoke openly about the plights of the weak and forgotten. This kind of enlightened action left many progressive observers hoping that he would turn his accepting gaze to birth control, homosexuals, and female aspirants to the cloth.

Still, I suppose even the Vicar of Christ can hardly be expected to be perfect. John Paul II did far more good than bad, and that is more than can be said for many.

Ave atque vale!

Everyone needs an Uncle Joe

Spent today playing board games with some associates at the Los Altos Public Library. It's actually a fairly well stocked facility, with an impressive array of books, video, and even music available free and to anyone with a library card.

We played Barbarossa to Berlin, a WWII simulation board game. I was Uncle Joe twice, and I'm proud to say I saved communisum and won the Great Patriotic War.

One for the good guys. Or something.

Turns out we were wrong all the time

In the April edition of Scientific American, science will finally dispose of its most cherished conspiracy. Yes, that's right, according to this story the days of requiriing little things like "evidence" or "testable models" are passing along with the dinosaurs.

Evolution was a fun little evil, but I can see it's time has passed. Always one to see the value in new modes of thinking, I have re-evaluated some of my own positions, basing my new prospectives under logic that previously we rational people regarded as somewhat suspect.

It turns out that 300x50x30 cubits really is enough space to hold 3,858,920 animals.

It turns out that the earth really is around six to ten thousand years old.

It turns out that all those arguments we thought were "debunked" were actually dismissed a little too early by people who insisted on "evidence".

Well, I say so long to the monolithic tyranny of rational scientific models! It's about time our scientific discourses were guided by the principles of democracy and Christianity for which our nation has ever stood.

Fightin' Words

An associate recently claimed that there was a better Transformer than Soundwave.

It took about four guys to break us apart.

Choices, Consequences, and Injunctions

So a federal district court has refused to grant an injunction ordering the restoration of Terri Schiavo's feeding tube. The right of the federal court system to review the case followed a bill passed by Congress granting jurisdiction. Notwithstanding the various legal issues that surround Congress' ability to pass such legislation, I find myself alternatively at odds with the situation.

To begin with, despite the bald assertions of Senator Frisk, many "life affirming" Americans believe that is it nonetheless consistent to insist upon an individual right to a comfortable and dignified end. I know, because I am one of them. I regard life as unspeakably sacred; certainly I hold it in higher regard than those who advocate the unchecked execution of the criminally suspect or the jingoistic use of force of arms. Even so, principle demands that people be allowed to dispose of their final affairs and their final days in a manner befitting the life they have lead.

I find the presumptive arrogance of the Republican response repulsive. I think certainly at least some of their public outrage is little more than disengenious manipulation of the body politic, and much of the rest is pandering to that disturbing bloc of ascendent fundamentalists. The legal action of the federal government represents the imposition of one set of principles for another, in contravention of all theories of self-determination. So it is with some trouble that I must admit that their action, if not their motives, may in the end be correct. Despite the fact that I believe everyone has what may be described somewhat crassly as a "right to die", I find myself unable to find complete accord with the position of Mr. Schiavo. Certainly, were there any clear and undisputed indication of Mrs. Schiavo's intentions then I should have little difficulty in asserting a personal position. However, I feel that in the absence of a manifestly declarative statement, we ought to error on the side of caution.

Caution, however, does not necessarily dictate action. Mr. Schiavo, as I understand the situation, is the proper guardian of his wife, and accordingly holds both the authority over and the responsibility for her affairs. On his shoulders rests the momentous decision, and I would think this legal battle is doing little to alleviate what must be a most harrowing experience.

Do your part to save a kitten

Gencon, otherwise known as gaming mecca, is coming again. I'm not really sure where it is this year, as it has moved about a bit of late, but it's somewhere in the midwest to be sure. Unfortunately, poor as I am, I can't go.

Scratch one kitten.

Too bad I don't need VOIP

I really like the song they use in the Vonage IP commercials. If I needed VOIP, I'd get it from them. I like to support products that have good commercials. Conversely, I stay away from products whose commercials irritate me. So just a warning to any company that plans to use Carrot Top or David Arquette again, you can kiss my business goodbye.

One sober Irishman

Well, it's St. Patrick's day again, another excuse for everyone to get totally and completely blasted. As if they needed one. St. Patrick's day is the total aggregation of everything that is crass, crude, and base in American society, thinly covered with a green shamrock.

Speaking as an Irishman, which I am somewhat though it is a title I rarely lay claim to, I find little to recommend in the holiday. I'm not Catholic, and even among the papists little is known about him outside of Ireland. Irish nationalism, too, seems a dubious cause. Ireland has no doubt suffered many indignities and even brutalities at the hands of the English, and they would have many legitimate grievences had they not turned to a kind of terrorism as reprehensible as any employed by al-Qaeda.

There are many ways in which St. Patrick's day could be meaningful. It could be an affirmation of Irish contributions to society. It could be a day of rememberence, of learning what it is to be Irish. Instead, it's just another excuse for people to drink and fight. However Irish these things may be, and I'm sure they are not completely unknown on the Shamrock Isle, they are hardly worthy of celebration or veneration.

Now everyone can have a bent Wookie

SOE has released information for the new SWG expansion. It's called Episode III: Rage of the Wookies. It includes a new planet, Kashyyk, the home world of the Wookies, a hundred new missions, and some new items among them the Jedi starfighter (As seen in Episode III: Revenge of the Sith!). All this and the assembled host of bugs, glitches, disappointments, and outright lies that accompany all of SOE's products can be yours for the bargain price of $24.99.

This will be the second expansion for SWG, the single most disappointing game in MMORPG history, the first being Jump to Lightspeed, which brought us the ability to play in space. RoTW will actually come with JtL for free, which if it follows the economic model of MMORPG expansions, has not made the portion of the user base who bought JtL when it came out very happy.

Besides the obvious marketing tie with a movie whose events take place some 25 years before the setting of the SWG game, there are plenty of other reasons to believe that the expansion will suck. At present there is no evidence to indicate that the "100 new missions" will be any better than the thousands of cookie-cutter UPS or destruction chores already available. Furthermore, Kashyyk will in all events end up as nothing more than another high level adventure planet, which in itself isn't all that bad, but I hardly think another Endor or Dathomir is worth $24.99.

Most of the SWG population awaits RoTW because the much anticipated Combat Balance will be released simultaneously. SWG users await the combat upgrade as fervently as the Jews await the messiah, and SOE has only fuelled this urgency by promising, for more than a year, that the combat rebalance will be that answer to all the game's ills.

I personally anticipate disappointment both from RoTW and from the combat rebalance, because SOE has never given us a reason to expect otherwise. Nonetheless, I'm pretty sure I'll be shelling out that $24.99, and I hate them for it.

Nobody named Miranda here

Well, The Shield is finally back on the air with new episodes. It's been a long wait, for those of us on the hook, but if the rest of the season is anything like the first episode then I think it'll all have been worth it.

I am particularly pleased by Glenn Close, an actress who is not exactly anyone's first choice for a gritty police drama, she offered a convincing performance as a hardnosed, practical, but still (at least apparently) on the right side of law. The former members of the now defunct strike team have all advanced in accordance with their particular personalities. Shane appears to be sliding even deeper into corruption, Lem has transfered somewhere that'll soothe his conscious, and Ronny remains as faceless as ever.

It remains to be seen how far they'll take Dutch on his trip down sociopath lane, but strangling cats can't hardly lead to anything good. CCH remains prickly and disatisfied, but it remains to be seen how she'll work for a captain who's occupying what was supposed to be her chair. Julian and Danny put in appearences, but they didn't really do anything. Still, it's only the first episode.

All in all, it was a good hour of television. I anticipate a Vic-Shane standoff as Shane slides deeper and deeper into the abyss, and that'll be a great episode. Until then, all I can do is steer clear of the fuzz and wait.

Redemption

Well, by now probably everyone has seen the new Star Wars trailer for Episode III. It is quite cool, I have to say, and I'm anticipating the movie with a sense of optimism I hadn't dare feel previously in light of how badly the other two movies completely blew. I especially like the part where Samuel L. Jackson and a bunch of other Jedi go to arrest the Chancellor, though the "Are you threatening me, Master Jedi" response was a bit weak. That part called for something better than a Beavis and Butthead flashback.

I actually rank prettly far down on the ladder of Star Wars fandom. I've seen all the movies, of course, but I didn't really bother with the books, comics, and other stuff that compromise the EU (Extended Universe in geekspeek). I did wait with a bunch of friends for 22 hours in line to see Episode I, but that wasn't really for the movie itself so much as to have a quixotic adventure and skip class. I play SWG, the Star Wars MMORPG, but that is pretty much a triumph of enthusiasm over experience rather than an endorsment of Star Wars or the game itself.

I hope that Lucas pulled out all the stops for this last film. The other two movies have done a hackjob on his reputation, not to mention permanently marring his masterpiece. If he can go out with a bang, people may be somewhat disposed to overlook his recent mistakes. Of course, in this movie he gets to work with Darth Vader, possibly the coolest villian in the history of the cinema. It'd take a real moron to screw that up, but when you think that he also came up with Jar-Jar and Ewoks, I guess all you can do is buy your ticket and cross your fingers.