That idiot Tibor lost the key

More and more I find my speech has become infected with metaphor. I am like a character from Dumas, except I use television rather than classical antiquity as the source for my comparisons. It makes, I find, for peculiar sentances, all the more so because it requires on the part of the listener a commensurate knowledge of things trivial. The title expression is but one example, in that case an idiom to express personal incompetence without the actual admission. It, like a startling number of its ilk, have been farmed from the Simpsons, but I actually refer to a full range of various programs, as befits a man who has squandered much of life in front of the TV.