Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Revelation in the face of oncoming traffic

Previous posts have documented a sense of general discontent that permeates my current existence. This despondency seems, on the outside, somewhat odd, especially given my systematic efforts to avoid anything resembling work - even as to such tasks as might suit my talents and disposition. Sloth and procrastination are two of my more able skills, yet it seems I may have honed them too sharply.

However, the next six months promise changes even I cannot evade. The imminent completion of law school, and the (hopefully) ensuing bar success brings my future into sharp focus. A legal education is not cheap, and I even have some loans from my undergraduate studies. These obligations promise to serve as the defining characteristics of my financial and professional realities for the foreseeable future.

I have avoided facing them so long as I could, an act of childish self-absorption I know, yet for all I aspire to reason and maturity, so characteristic as to be cliche. Completion of law school triggers a temporary grace period, after which my loans require repayment and my options diminish from a spectacular host of the possible to the cruel reality of the necessary.

Let it not be said, though, that I am completely hopeless. This term, in addition to my legal studies (which, I should say, have never received from me the proper attention they deserve) I have enrolled in Screenwriting at a local community college, and expect to enroll in a Digital Video class at the UC Extension, contingent on financing. These are fields that have always captivated my interests, and I've long intended to consider them in a more formal and professional setting.

I do this without expectation that it will save me from forty years of legal toil, a prospect of little joy but free, at least, from dread. Neither my beginning screenwriting class nor my introduction to digital filming will result in anything other than amateurish pretension. But that's okay. I am doing this for myself, and finally too, action brought on by the uncomfrotable revelation of impending fates. Nobody knows what the future holds, but if I am consigned to a life of unfulfilled hopes, I should not want the failure to have been one of mere effort.


Doug said...

I wish you the best of luck on your career. I know I'ma face the same challenges (hopefully not the same time duration) as you in the near future, but it can be done.

I learned about 20 new vocab words just by readin' this post. You use big words good. ;)

Guruh Roy said...

Hi! i pay for your visits. By the way, i already makes a link for your blog at my blog.

Have A Nice Day

Laura said...

Good luck! I'm hoping I can get through the rest of college without a loan... I'm thinking it's not likely though.

Yep, I totally get what you mean about the thinking other people's hobbies are insane when you aren't "in it" too. I can see how people would look at my blog, thinking I was crazy to think that that paper I was looking at was something so cool. :)

Haha... and yes, I do use those stupid planners. :) I have to have something to write down my homework assignments in or I'd forget what I was supposed to do and it would never get done. Which would mean all the time I've spent trying to maintain a good GPA would go down the drain. Not really an option for me to not use the planner... ;)

Hope you're having a great week!

Grafxgurl said...

student loans can put anyone off of wanting to study..

lol id say i was biased...but then... my whole life is based on Art and Design...so.. digital ANYTHING gets two thumbs up!!... its a great life too..

Jackson said...

I hope you enjoy the classes you take and you're able to inject some joy into your career, or at the least your life with some good alternative pursuits. I recently found all those Robotech scripts we wrote. Perhaps you could resurrect the franchise with a Glenish invasion and the heroics of Justin Bailey.

LeperColony said...

Hey, it'd still be better than most of what is on TV nowadays.

Moon Goddess said...

Eww... school... *shudder*

(I just finished summer semester -- "school" is a dirty word right now)

But good for you on the You Time thing. As you've maybe seen from my own blog, I'd been suffering from lack thereof, and now that I'm finally reading for fun... and I'll soon be writing for fun again... *whimsical sigh*

Darth Rachel said...

here's to the completion of upper studies, and the willingness to never stop:)

maybe pursuing the one as a secondary will allow you to really embrace it, since it's free of the pressure of "THIS IS MY CAREER"

have fun

SKY said...

That sounds like fun. I hope you enjoy your courses. I will be concluding my studies in a couple semesters so loans are weighing heavily on mind right now.

MathiasTCK said...

I'm betting you are at least as smart as I am, and at least as lazy ;) I'm sure you will eventually find your niche, whereby a great deal of money comes to without much effort. If found mine in cell phones ;)

Eventually I plan to start a game studio. Odd's are I'll be making cell phone games. It's never bad to be able to list a lawyer on your payroll...

However that's at least a year from now (likely at least 3). I'm digging Myspace mobile right now.